Tuesday's are kind of awkward days for me. I have my graduate assistant position in the morning until 10:30 then I have class at 1:10. As you can see I have a little gap inbetween. I usually use this time to catch up on assignments or reading, which is really nice. Then there are days like today when I'm caught up on work and really don't feel like jumping ahead. Therefore, my morning has been spent reading random articles on Yahoo and being on Facebook. I'm not going to complain though. This semester has been as busy as I've expected so a time of rest is greatly appreciated. I just wish that I could have spent this time in my bed.... sleeping. But none the less, I did give my brain a break and am now educated on why soda's are bad for you (it was the only interesting article I found on Yahoo).
Out of all the problems and issues I know I have, the one problem that I know about and tend to feed into is my need to be a busy body. Times of rest are enjoyable, but most of the time I prefer to be doing something. I have a few reasons for this; #1 If I'm given too much rest I become extremely lazy. I lose all motivation for anything and prefer to stay at home watching movies and TV or listen to music. #2 My mind can run 100 miles an hour thinking about everything on the earth and when I'm given too much rest, I will focus on these thoughts and begin to over think them. I then run into a problem of making a big deal out something that's not a big deal. I do consider it a blessing that I have critical thinking skills and problem solving skills but just like any other gift, when they are over used, you tend to venture to the dark side. #3 My busy-bodiness helps me to procrastinate on any problems or issues I know I need to deal with and just don't feel like dealing with just yet.
On a more positive note, I like staying busy because my busyness usually involves me spending time with people or helping people which is my LOVE and my PASSION.
But scripture warns us against busyness. Most of us know the story about Mary and Martha. If not the story is in Luke 10:38-42 (MSG),"As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand." The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."
I'm much like Martha and I find myself getting caught up in the all the task and not just sitting like Mary and taking in the moments the Lord gives me for him to just shower his love onto. This hit me this morning while I was doing my grad assistant job. I sit in a intro to psych class and take notes and as the professor was talking he said, "our relationship with Jesus is a daily interpersonal relationship." Right then, all I heard was "daily relationship". There are days when I'm telling the Lord to hold on to what he has to tell me because I'm too busy or in the back of my mind I'm think "Lord, I just can't deal with anything you have to show me or tell me today. I'm afraid it won't be good and I can't handle anything bad right now." But God reminded me this morning, through this simple statement that my relationship is daily with him, therefore everyday is not going to be filled with God disciplining me. But I'm going to be honest, I feel that way sometimes. I'm bad about looking at God as this disciplinary and constantly wanting to work with me on my issues. But this morning the Lord told me differently. Everyday is not going to be about work. He is ultimately a God of LOVE and MERCY. He knows my weaknesses and he knows my strengths and ultimately he can be the only one to fill my weaknesses, I can't. I want to change how I perceive my relationship with him. Mary was engulfed in what Jesus had to say, so in my mind I know he had to have been saying things that were loving and filling. He was saying the exact things she needed to hear someone say. I think it's time that I sit down, relax, and enjoy the loving things the Lord wants to tell me
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
"If you love Me then just love me, don't you give me pretty words. Lay your life down at the alter, let Me see how serious you are."
Today I was not able to go to church. I wanted to go so bad! But, I worked another lock in at the museum this weekend (I worked one last weekend too) and when I left this morning, I felt as if my body was filled with lead. I had to go back into work at 1:30 to be trained for a temporary exhibit called National Treasure Trading Post, so I knew I needed energy for that AND to complete the rest of my homework that is due Monday. It really did break my heart that I couldn't go, I just love church and hate when I have to miss it.
Speaking of the National Treasure Trading Post, it's pretty cool. They have all these cool rocks, shells, sand, and other environmentally cool objects. Kids can bring stuff they find at home and trade them for some of the cool stuff we have. It's really awesome! Since I'll be running the post some (right now only the science managers do) I'm having to learn all this stuff about rocks and fossils. I never thought I'd be interested in that stuff but it has been so cool to learn about! I remember thinking in my undergrad how horrible it would be to take geology, but now I'm kinda wishing I had! Instead I took a Weather and Climate course that turned out to be a bust. It was taught be a geologist expert (irony? I think so). Either way, I can't tell you anything about the weather now. Waste of time. If I had only known I would be having to teach people information about rocks, I could have actually used some knowledge that I paid so much money for. Today this kid brought a rock that he found at his house on Signal Mountain. Turned out it just wasn't a rock but a fossilized sea shell and sea corral. It was really cool!
Since I didn't go to church today, I decided to have a little devotion with myself before I took a nap this morning. I've been reading through Matthew bits and pieces at a time for a while now. Before I read I asked the Lord to give me what he would have given me during the sermon today. I don't know what the service was about today but he did give me something that is completely applicable to the struggles I've had lately. I've been struggling with many internal things lately and have been attacked in one way or another by Satan with my thoughts. It's been going on for a while now and I've been getting really tired of it. But despite my constant prayers and asking for help, the mental thoughts keep coming. I've been trusting the Lord and I know he's helping me, he just hasn't completely stopped Satan from his dark whispering and it's been getting exhausting. Back to my devotion, I read through Matthew chapter 27. This is the chapter that talks about Jesus's trial and crucifixion. I've read through this multiple times but today the Lord showed me something new in this chapter. Throughout the whole trial Jesus was being beaten. Many have seen The Passion of Christ and probably still have a mental image of what this looked liked. Not only was he being beaten but he was being verbally assaulted as well. People were mocking him and asking him if he truly were the Messiah why isn't he saving himself. As I read this it hit me, Jesus did have the power to end the torment he was going through. He healed thousands of others and he had the power to heal himself and end the torment, but he didn't. God had the ability to intervene for him and end the torment as well, but he didn't. Why? Because if he had stopped the pain, he would have lost us. He knew that their was a greater purpose in the pain. He knew that in order for every single one of his children to have the opportunity to be with him, he had to suffer. He knew that in order for all the promises that he made through out the years to come true, he had to suffer. What I'm currently going through is only a pin prick in comparison to what Jesus went through but his experience makes me want to have his mindset. I'm sure each time he took a beating he thought of us and how it would save us. He focused on the bigger picture, he put his faith in God knowing he only allows temporary pain for a greater purpose. I have no clue why I'm going through what I'm going through, but I have to remember that this struggle is temporary. He's promised me that it's only temporary and I need to focus and trust in this. God could and will end this struggle eventually but until then I'm going to focus on the bigger picture rather than focusing on the pain and struggle it's causing me in the moment. For "this too shall pass".
Speaking of the National Treasure Trading Post, it's pretty cool. They have all these cool rocks, shells, sand, and other environmentally cool objects. Kids can bring stuff they find at home and trade them for some of the cool stuff we have. It's really awesome! Since I'll be running the post some (right now only the science managers do) I'm having to learn all this stuff about rocks and fossils. I never thought I'd be interested in that stuff but it has been so cool to learn about! I remember thinking in my undergrad how horrible it would be to take geology, but now I'm kinda wishing I had! Instead I took a Weather and Climate course that turned out to be a bust. It was taught be a geologist expert (irony? I think so). Either way, I can't tell you anything about the weather now. Waste of time. If I had only known I would be having to teach people information about rocks, I could have actually used some knowledge that I paid so much money for. Today this kid brought a rock that he found at his house on Signal Mountain. Turned out it just wasn't a rock but a fossilized sea shell and sea corral. It was really cool!
Since I didn't go to church today, I decided to have a little devotion with myself before I took a nap this morning. I've been reading through Matthew bits and pieces at a time for a while now. Before I read I asked the Lord to give me what he would have given me during the sermon today. I don't know what the service was about today but he did give me something that is completely applicable to the struggles I've had lately. I've been struggling with many internal things lately and have been attacked in one way or another by Satan with my thoughts. It's been going on for a while now and I've been getting really tired of it. But despite my constant prayers and asking for help, the mental thoughts keep coming. I've been trusting the Lord and I know he's helping me, he just hasn't completely stopped Satan from his dark whispering and it's been getting exhausting. Back to my devotion, I read through Matthew chapter 27. This is the chapter that talks about Jesus's trial and crucifixion. I've read through this multiple times but today the Lord showed me something new in this chapter. Throughout the whole trial Jesus was being beaten. Many have seen The Passion of Christ and probably still have a mental image of what this looked liked. Not only was he being beaten but he was being verbally assaulted as well. People were mocking him and asking him if he truly were the Messiah why isn't he saving himself. As I read this it hit me, Jesus did have the power to end the torment he was going through. He healed thousands of others and he had the power to heal himself and end the torment, but he didn't. God had the ability to intervene for him and end the torment as well, but he didn't. Why? Because if he had stopped the pain, he would have lost us. He knew that their was a greater purpose in the pain. He knew that in order for every single one of his children to have the opportunity to be with him, he had to suffer. He knew that in order for all the promises that he made through out the years to come true, he had to suffer. What I'm currently going through is only a pin prick in comparison to what Jesus went through but his experience makes me want to have his mindset. I'm sure each time he took a beating he thought of us and how it would save us. He focused on the bigger picture, he put his faith in God knowing he only allows temporary pain for a greater purpose. I have no clue why I'm going through what I'm going through, but I have to remember that this struggle is temporary. He's promised me that it's only temporary and I need to focus and trust in this. God could and will end this struggle eventually but until then I'm going to focus on the bigger picture rather than focusing on the pain and struggle it's causing me in the moment. For "this too shall pass".
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
He Breaks Every Chain
Tonight was one of those nights for me. They creep up when I least expect it. Today went great. I went to practicum today and had a great day. I went to class and everything went well. I drove to a friends house and after I left thats when it all hit. I felt unwanted, unloved, and worst one of all.... lonely. As I drove home it grew. As I sat in the living room eating dinner by myself and watching TV, the ache grew. I haven't felt it like this in a long time. I then began to feel sorry for myself.
I left the living room and went to my room to watch a DVD a friend let me borrow called Finger of God. I was amazed at what I saw. I was not only amazed but I was struck with grief. I began to grieve because I was made aware of my unbelief (needless to say, I didn't feel sorry for myself anymore. I was actually mad at myself). I've allowed religion to put Christ in a box and make it out that Christ is to only look a certain way and act a certain way. If Christ were to show himself outside this box I created, I became uncomfortable and fearful of what others might think. God is so much bigger than a box and he's definitely can't be put into one. One of the ladies in the video stated that we've made the gospel more complicated than it's meant to be. It's so SIMPLE, we are just to LOVE. THAT'S IT! It's not a show, it's not a ritual, it's not a Sunday only things, it's not a church going, bible study things..... it's LOVE! It's an extravagant love. It's a love that jokes around with us, it gives us joy beyond imagination, it loves us despite our mistakes, it gives us a peace and understanding that is more than we could ever ask for. God's love will NEVER EVER DISAPPOINT YOU!
As a dear brother in Christ pointed out to me this week, my calling in life is the following verse, "All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
I'm enduring what I'm enduring because he will use me to comfort others in the same situation later in my life. I've talked about it before and I'll continue to bring it up, loneliness is one of the hardest things to deal with. Especially the way society looks at it like it's a "problem" that needs to be "fixed". Don't get me wrong, people's intentions are good and they are only trying to help. But looking at someone who is lonely and trying to "fix" their situation is not helping, it's hurting. To find contentment in loneliness is difficult enough, it doesn't help when people treat it as a problem. Just like being in a relationship, being single is a place in ones life. It has it's up's and downs. No matter what type of a relationship you are in, you always have seasons of struggles and during these seasons of struggles you don't hear people encouraging you to end your relationship, especially if you in a marriage. Instead you hear encouragement. That's what single people need too. We're in a relationship too, we're in a relationship with ourselves and it's a hard relationship to be in. I'm just not in a relationship with myself, I'm in one in Christ, and it's hard being the imperfect one in that relationship ;-)
My hope and prayer is that those who are in a relationship, don't forget about those who are not. And to those who are single, stop trying to get out of it. You are right where you're meant to be for now and don't be too prideful to be willing to go out with people who are in a relationship. Allow them to invite you into their lives, accept the love and relationship they have to offer. Christ did tell us "It's not good for Man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18). God has someone for you but we have to be willing to take what he gives us now.
I ended my night with a deep cry out to God to help me in this time of loneliness and unbelief. And you know what? He healed me. I have no more chains :-) I'm so happy to be loved by Him!
I left the living room and went to my room to watch a DVD a friend let me borrow called Finger of God. I was amazed at what I saw. I was not only amazed but I was struck with grief. I began to grieve because I was made aware of my unbelief (needless to say, I didn't feel sorry for myself anymore. I was actually mad at myself). I've allowed religion to put Christ in a box and make it out that Christ is to only look a certain way and act a certain way. If Christ were to show himself outside this box I created, I became uncomfortable and fearful of what others might think. God is so much bigger than a box and he's definitely can't be put into one. One of the ladies in the video stated that we've made the gospel more complicated than it's meant to be. It's so SIMPLE, we are just to LOVE. THAT'S IT! It's not a show, it's not a ritual, it's not a Sunday only things, it's not a church going, bible study things..... it's LOVE! It's an extravagant love. It's a love that jokes around with us, it gives us joy beyond imagination, it loves us despite our mistakes, it gives us a peace and understanding that is more than we could ever ask for. God's love will NEVER EVER DISAPPOINT YOU!
As a dear brother in Christ pointed out to me this week, my calling in life is the following verse, "All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
I'm enduring what I'm enduring because he will use me to comfort others in the same situation later in my life. I've talked about it before and I'll continue to bring it up, loneliness is one of the hardest things to deal with. Especially the way society looks at it like it's a "problem" that needs to be "fixed". Don't get me wrong, people's intentions are good and they are only trying to help. But looking at someone who is lonely and trying to "fix" their situation is not helping, it's hurting. To find contentment in loneliness is difficult enough, it doesn't help when people treat it as a problem. Just like being in a relationship, being single is a place in ones life. It has it's up's and downs. No matter what type of a relationship you are in, you always have seasons of struggles and during these seasons of struggles you don't hear people encouraging you to end your relationship, especially if you in a marriage. Instead you hear encouragement. That's what single people need too. We're in a relationship too, we're in a relationship with ourselves and it's a hard relationship to be in. I'm just not in a relationship with myself, I'm in one in Christ, and it's hard being the imperfect one in that relationship ;-)
My hope and prayer is that those who are in a relationship, don't forget about those who are not. And to those who are single, stop trying to get out of it. You are right where you're meant to be for now and don't be too prideful to be willing to go out with people who are in a relationship. Allow them to invite you into their lives, accept the love and relationship they have to offer. Christ did tell us "It's not good for Man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18). God has someone for you but we have to be willing to take what he gives us now.
I ended my night with a deep cry out to God to help me in this time of loneliness and unbelief. And you know what? He healed me. I have no more chains :-) I'm so happy to be loved by Him!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
"You see contentment is the one thing it entails, to be content with where I am and getting where I need to be. "
Hello fellow friends,
It is Thursday night, almost Friday. This week has FLOWN by! A lot has happened this week; I turned 24, I started my practicum for my program, I've learned a few Mandarin Chinese phrases, I've smiled a lot, I've had so many people share loving words to me, and as always the Lord has been nothing but good to me. The Lord continues to show his love through my family, friends, and myself. It makes me look forward to each new day and what it might have in store!
Last week the Lord opened my heart to a new insightful area of myself... discontentment. When recalling my life, I can recall many times where I was discontent. Sometimes the discontentments were minor, sometimes they were big. Either way, they have always been apart of my life. I recently read this verse, "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." Matthew 25:29 It really opened up my eyes to how discontentment can be a road block to the blessings the Lord has in store for me. Many times the Lord shares with us the promises he has for us. We get so excited and start looking forward to the GREAT things he has promised. So we wait..... and wait.... and wait. You finally begin to question what the Lord has promised. You think, "maybe it was too good to be true" or "I guess he really doesn't care that much for me", but look back at Matthew 25:29. Sometimes we have to cherish and find contentment exactly where the Lord has placed us. The Lord shares with us his promises at times because he wants us to know what he has in store for us, but he also wants us to learn how to be content with what we have. If we become content with little, he will give more. If we begin to look for more, he gives less.
It is my goal this year to have minimum discontentment and more contentment with my life no matter the circumstances. I'm going to trust God in what he promises to do when we make this kind of commitment.
It is Thursday night, almost Friday. This week has FLOWN by! A lot has happened this week; I turned 24, I started my practicum for my program, I've learned a few Mandarin Chinese phrases, I've smiled a lot, I've had so many people share loving words to me, and as always the Lord has been nothing but good to me. The Lord continues to show his love through my family, friends, and myself. It makes me look forward to each new day and what it might have in store!
Last week the Lord opened my heart to a new insightful area of myself... discontentment. When recalling my life, I can recall many times where I was discontent. Sometimes the discontentments were minor, sometimes they were big. Either way, they have always been apart of my life. I recently read this verse, "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." Matthew 25:29 It really opened up my eyes to how discontentment can be a road block to the blessings the Lord has in store for me. Many times the Lord shares with us the promises he has for us. We get so excited and start looking forward to the GREAT things he has promised. So we wait..... and wait.... and wait. You finally begin to question what the Lord has promised. You think, "maybe it was too good to be true" or "I guess he really doesn't care that much for me", but look back at Matthew 25:29. Sometimes we have to cherish and find contentment exactly where the Lord has placed us. The Lord shares with us his promises at times because he wants us to know what he has in store for us, but he also wants us to learn how to be content with what we have. If we become content with little, he will give more. If we begin to look for more, he gives less.
It is my goal this year to have minimum discontentment and more contentment with my life no matter the circumstances. I'm going to trust God in what he promises to do when we make this kind of commitment.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Jumping, Alive, Running, and Religion
This blog will jump from one subject to the next. Each topic does not really relate to one another but this is really how my mind works, it's constantly jumps from one thought to the next. Welcome to my brain :-)
This weekend has been really nice. Worship Friday night and Sunday morning at Briarwood have been unexplainable. Scripture talks about how Jesus wants us to be united as one body in Him. I've never really known what this has felt like until worship Friday and Sunday. You can just feel the unity in the room and the things the Lord does interpersonally are unexplainable. You literally feel the chains that you have been carrying, the baggage you've created fall to the floor. I've left the building both times feeling 10lbs lighter (emotionally). It has been absolutely phenomenal. I welcome anyone who wants to come and experience this type of worship. I will warn you, it's not your typical church service, not even close to typical. I'm proud to say that I'm at a church that is ALIVE!
..:thought jump:..
Saturday night my family got together to celebrate my birthday and to also discuss our trip we are taking in February to Disney World! My mom is running their Princess half marathon and the rest of the family is running the Family 5k. It was kinda funny to listen to us talk about the 5k. My sister was talking about how she plans to walk/ run the whole thing, my brother had a specific time of how much he would walk/run, my stepdad was talking about running a steady pace........ what is my strategy you might ask? I DON'T HAVE ONE!! haahaahaahaa! I finally looked at my brother and was like, "My plan is to just do it. I'll run.... then walk when I'm tired of running." I know, I know, I've spent way too much thinking time on this plan :-) I just love how I really am the typical middle child in my family.
..:new thought:..
I recently saw a video on youtube that most of you have probably seen called, "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus." I thought it was really awesome. But like most awesome things that speak a lot of truth and become popular, people begin to down it or try and correct what has been said. Sadly, it's most Christians who begin to criticize. Either way, Tullian Tchividjian wrote an article in response about comparing the gospel and religion. You can click here to read the article, it's pretty awesome. One of the things he posted in this article was comparisons between religion and the gospel that was written by Tim Kellar. I'm going to post them here because they are so GOOD. After I read these I really began to analyze my own actions. I began to realize that I easily fall into the definition of religion rather than the gospel. I hope these are as helpful to you as they were for me!
This weekend has been really nice. Worship Friday night and Sunday morning at Briarwood have been unexplainable. Scripture talks about how Jesus wants us to be united as one body in Him. I've never really known what this has felt like until worship Friday and Sunday. You can just feel the unity in the room and the things the Lord does interpersonally are unexplainable. You literally feel the chains that you have been carrying, the baggage you've created fall to the floor. I've left the building both times feeling 10lbs lighter (emotionally). It has been absolutely phenomenal. I welcome anyone who wants to come and experience this type of worship. I will warn you, it's not your typical church service, not even close to typical. I'm proud to say that I'm at a church that is ALIVE!
..:thought jump:..
Saturday night my family got together to celebrate my birthday and to also discuss our trip we are taking in February to Disney World! My mom is running their Princess half marathon and the rest of the family is running the Family 5k. It was kinda funny to listen to us talk about the 5k. My sister was talking about how she plans to walk/ run the whole thing, my brother had a specific time of how much he would walk/run, my stepdad was talking about running a steady pace........ what is my strategy you might ask? I DON'T HAVE ONE!! haahaahaahaa! I finally looked at my brother and was like, "My plan is to just do it. I'll run.... then walk when I'm tired of running." I know, I know, I've spent way too much thinking time on this plan :-) I just love how I really am the typical middle child in my family.
..:new thought:..
I recently saw a video on youtube that most of you have probably seen called, "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus." I thought it was really awesome. But like most awesome things that speak a lot of truth and become popular, people begin to down it or try and correct what has been said. Sadly, it's most Christians who begin to criticize. Either way, Tullian Tchividjian wrote an article in response about comparing the gospel and religion. You can click here to read the article, it's pretty awesome. One of the things he posted in this article was comparisons between religion and the gospel that was written by Tim Kellar. I'm going to post them here because they are so GOOD. After I read these I really began to analyze my own actions. I began to realize that I easily fall into the definition of religion rather than the gospel. I hope these are as helpful to you as they were for me!
RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m acceptedTHE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey.
RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurityTHE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy.
RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from GodTHE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him.
RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable lifeTHE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.
RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costsTHE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take criticism.
RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environmentTHE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.
RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a failure
THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor sniveling.
RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other
THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.
RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about GodTHE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on me when they are threatened and lost.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.'
The past three days have been great. I've been doing some of my old habits of staying up until 1 or 2 in the morning and sleeping til 10:30, it's been so great! As of tomorrow my semester starts and I'll will be going non stop. The latest I'll get to sleep in this semester will be 8 and that's rarely going to happen. So I indulged in my guilty pleasure of staying up late and sleeping in. Now, I feel like going out and saving the world! :-)
The Lord has also used these couple of days to speak to me. Lately, my pastor at church has been preaching about showing compassion rather than condemnation. It's really cool how what has been placed on his heart to preach on the Lord continues by teaching me more about the subject in my study time during the week. Last night I was greatly convicted through a passage I read, Matthew 18:21-35. This is the story of the unforgiving debtor. The passage starts with Peter asking Jesus how often we are to forgive someone. He asked if we are to forgive seven times seven, Jesus replies with, "No, not seven times seven......... but seventy times seven." Jesus then tells a story that is as followed: "The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.
The Lord has also used these couple of days to speak to me. Lately, my pastor at church has been preaching about showing compassion rather than condemnation. It's really cool how what has been placed on his heart to preach on the Lord continues by teaching me more about the subject in my study time during the week. Last night I was greatly convicted through a passage I read, Matthew 18:21-35. This is the story of the unforgiving debtor. The passage starts with Peter asking Jesus how often we are to forgive someone. He asked if we are to forgive seven times seven, Jesus replies with, "No, not seven times seven......... but seventy times seven." Jesus then tells a story that is as followed: "The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.
"The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.
"The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, 'Pay up. Now!'
"The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' But he wouldn't do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king.
"The king summoned the man and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?' The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that's exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy." Matthew 18:23-25
This really reminded me of a few times when I came to God, on my knees, begging him to show me mercy and compassion despite the fact that I screwed up. I can honestly tell you that even though I still had minor obstacles to go through because of my choices, the Lord was faithful to show me mercy and to not give me the punishment that I rightfully earned. Then I KNOW I have shown others less mercy when they have done me wrong. I did not show them the same mercy and love that the Lord has shown me. This is exactly what the Lord says not to do. This passage just confirms that compassion and mercy is what the Lord wants us to give to others. If anything, we're going to be in bigger trouble by condemning rather than forgiving and showing compassion.
I'm not sure about you, but I think I'm going to try changing my focus and doing things a little differently.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
"Come Away With Me"
Oh I am LOVING this year already! The Lord brings a new blessing each and everyday! Seriously, each day I have witnessed the Lord bless someone or myself. Sometimes they are small but I'm drinking it all in!
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![c]”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[d] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said.“Why did you doubt me?”
32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.
34 After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. 35 When the people recognized Jesus, the news of his arrival spread quickly throughout the whole area, and soon people were bringing all their sick to be healed. 36 They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed."
Matthew 14:22-34
I love how the beginning of the passage starts out saying,"Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake.." (Matt.14:22). Jesus told his disciples to leave, knowing that they were going to be caught in a wind storm, but he still told them to go. Actually he insisted they go. Many times we find ourselves being called to go somewhere. The Lord has made his plan very clear and we are to follow it, but halfway on the journey we find ourselves in a storm, with no land in sight. So here you are, in the middle of this lake being tossed, turned, and struggling to find the energy to keep your boat from turning over. In this story it says in was 3am by the time Jesus appeared. You know these guys were feeling delirious from exhaustion at this point, so exhausted that they did not even recognize that it was Jesus walking towards them, they thought it was a ghost! But the cool part is that when he got to them he said, "Don't be afraid! Take courage, I am here!" What comfort this had to be for the men, you know they were scared out of their mind and they were ready for a break from the storm. But the Lord did not stop the storm immediately. Instead, Peter ask that if it is truly him, he will bid him to come out onto the water with him. So here's Peter stepping out of the boat (the only thing that was keeping them safe at the moment) and starts heading out into the raging waters! What faith this took to get out of the boat! I picture the other men looking at Peter thinking, "This man is crazy! Can't he see the raging waves? HE COULD DIE OUT THERE!" But despite what others thought, Peter stepped out of the boat. As he's walking towards Jesus, he becomes aware of what he's doing. He realizes he is out in a major wind storm with massive waves that could take his life in an instant and this is when he begins to sink. He calls out to the Lord and says "Save me Lord!" and the Lord comes and lifts him out of the water and says "“Why did you doubt me?”. I kinda picture Jesus saying this with a little giggle in his voice. It wasn't until Jesus grabbed Peter and got into the boat that the storm stopped. The disciples then continued on there journey and reached their destination and many were healed!
It's easy to think that when we are doing what we feel the Lord has called us to do and we find ourselves struggling we begin to doubt whether the Lord has really called us to go down this particular path or we begin to think about what we did wrong to cause all the struggle we are experiencing. This story teaches us that the Lord DOES send us down paths at times that have storms along the way. These storms are going to break us, make us lose all our energy, and maybe our sanity as well. But as in this story, Jesus WILL come and tell us " Don't be afraid. Take courage, I am here!" He then wants us to lose all doubt and get out of our comfort zone and come to him, despite how big the waves might look on the journey! One of my favorite parts in this story is how He shows us that even when we doubt, we will not drown, he will come save us! The end of this story is over looked too. In the end many were healed because the disciples did as the Lord told them and went where he told them to go.
Whatever your journey might look like, no matter the darkness or the struggles along the way, you will make it to dry land and fulfill whatever the Lord has called you to do. Learn from Peter and don't doubt, the Lord will not only take you back to the boat but he will also stop the storm and bring you to dry land. He will not abandon you! That is a promise.
And NO......... you did not do anything to cause the struggle you are going through if you are doing as the Lord has told you to do.
I send my love to you all!
I'm pretty pumped because in less than 2 week I'll be 24! I'm so excited because of a few reasons. Reason #1 I hate the number 23 because it's a prime number (I do not like any prime number. I know it's weird but it's true.) Reason #2 The Lord has not just promised blessings this year, but in particular once I turn 24. Good things have happened, but BETTER things are on it's way and I am PUMPED! :-)
Last week the Lord place a blessing on my heart that I want to share. It's about the story in Matthew 14 where Peter walks on water. This is an excellent passage that I've heard preached on several times but last week the Lord placed a greater meaning in my heart about this passage that I have never noticed before. Here's the story for you to read first:
"22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.
24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[b] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![c]”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[d] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said.“Why did you doubt me?”
32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.
34 After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. 35 When the people recognized Jesus, the news of his arrival spread quickly throughout the whole area, and soon people were bringing all their sick to be healed. 36 They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed."
Matthew 14:22-34
I love how the beginning of the passage starts out saying,"Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake.." (Matt.14:22). Jesus told his disciples to leave, knowing that they were going to be caught in a wind storm, but he still told them to go. Actually he insisted they go. Many times we find ourselves being called to go somewhere. The Lord has made his plan very clear and we are to follow it, but halfway on the journey we find ourselves in a storm, with no land in sight. So here you are, in the middle of this lake being tossed, turned, and struggling to find the energy to keep your boat from turning over. In this story it says in was 3am by the time Jesus appeared. You know these guys were feeling delirious from exhaustion at this point, so exhausted that they did not even recognize that it was Jesus walking towards them, they thought it was a ghost! But the cool part is that when he got to them he said, "Don't be afraid! Take courage, I am here!" What comfort this had to be for the men, you know they were scared out of their mind and they were ready for a break from the storm. But the Lord did not stop the storm immediately. Instead, Peter ask that if it is truly him, he will bid him to come out onto the water with him. So here's Peter stepping out of the boat (the only thing that was keeping them safe at the moment) and starts heading out into the raging waters! What faith this took to get out of the boat! I picture the other men looking at Peter thinking, "This man is crazy! Can't he see the raging waves? HE COULD DIE OUT THERE!" But despite what others thought, Peter stepped out of the boat. As he's walking towards Jesus, he becomes aware of what he's doing. He realizes he is out in a major wind storm with massive waves that could take his life in an instant and this is when he begins to sink. He calls out to the Lord and says "Save me Lord!" and the Lord comes and lifts him out of the water and says "“Why did you doubt me?”. I kinda picture Jesus saying this with a little giggle in his voice. It wasn't until Jesus grabbed Peter and got into the boat that the storm stopped. The disciples then continued on there journey and reached their destination and many were healed!
It's easy to think that when we are doing what we feel the Lord has called us to do and we find ourselves struggling we begin to doubt whether the Lord has really called us to go down this particular path or we begin to think about what we did wrong to cause all the struggle we are experiencing. This story teaches us that the Lord DOES send us down paths at times that have storms along the way. These storms are going to break us, make us lose all our energy, and maybe our sanity as well. But as in this story, Jesus WILL come and tell us " Don't be afraid. Take courage, I am here!" He then wants us to lose all doubt and get out of our comfort zone and come to him, despite how big the waves might look on the journey! One of my favorite parts in this story is how He shows us that even when we doubt, we will not drown, he will come save us! The end of this story is over looked too. In the end many were healed because the disciples did as the Lord told them and went where he told them to go.
Whatever your journey might look like, no matter the darkness or the struggles along the way, you will make it to dry land and fulfill whatever the Lord has called you to do. Learn from Peter and don't doubt, the Lord will not only take you back to the boat but he will also stop the storm and bring you to dry land. He will not abandon you! That is a promise.
And NO......... you did not do anything to cause the struggle you are going through if you are doing as the Lord has told you to do.
I send my love to you all!
Monday, January 2, 2012
"Baby, I'm a dreamer for sure."
Happy New Year!
I have been patiently awaiting this year to arrive. God has promised to make things new this year and pour out his blessings. I have been so ready for this to happen! The amazing thing is yesterday was the first day of the year and God has already begun to do what he has promised!
A few weeks ago, the Lord placed on my heart to do something in the community on Christmas. Everything fell into place to help with a homeless ministry on Christmas day. I had enough people volunteer to help and to provide a nice meal for 80+ people. Then they had a change of plans and the date was changed to January 1st. So yesterday, with help from many friends and family, we were able to go help with the homeless ministry and provide a lasagna meal for the homeless.
Now I want to rewind to Christmas Eve night. I had just gotten home from spending Christmas with my Dad. I was getting my room organized and the Lord convicted me on the amount of clothes I had in my closet. I noticed that I hand almost 6 coats and MANY shirts that I don't even wear. I knew I would probably get more for Christmas so I decided to clean out my closet of all the clothes I have not worn this winter season. I filled up an x-large Christmas bag with all the clothes and coats that I decided to get rid of. After Christmas, I had enough money to buy a pair of brown boots I had been eyeing for a couple of months now. So I bought some new boots and decided to throw my other boots into my give away pile.
Now lets return to yesterday evening. As I was preparing to go provide dinner, I felt I needed to take my bag of clothes that I was going to give away. I have worked with the homeless before and it's population is usually of men and older women. I remember thinking "there probably won't be anyone who could fit into these clothes", but I felt that I needed to bring the bag with me anyways. I get to the church and enjoyed every minute of talking and serving this wonderful group of people. Near the end a man I go to church with came to me and told me that their was a family who have NO food for the week and asked if we had left over lasagna to give to them so they will have food during the week. We had one HUGE pan and another large pan of lasagna left over plus a bag of rolls, a few cupcakes, and salad that we could give to the family. The family was hispanic and had a translator to help them out. The translator came into the kitchen and thanked us for the extra food. After we fixed at least 16 togo boxes for the other members their (so cool how God provides the right amount of food), we walked out into the hallway where the hispanic family was. They thanked us for our help and then I joined the service that was taking place. I went into the room and sat down and realized that there was a girl who looked like she was in high school and was about my size. Then it hit me that she was who the clothes were for! I jumped up out of my seat and went looking for the family. I couldn't find them, so I went to find one of the guys I go to church with to see if he knew where they were. He told me they were still in the church so I told him about the large bag of clothes I had and was wanting to see if the girl in this family needed them. He took the bag of clothes and went out to find them. I stayed and enjoyed the service. In the middle of the service, the guy I gave the clothes to walk back in. He sat behind me and told me that in that family there were two girls. The older one is usually the one who gets a lot of clothes donated to her and the younger one (the one who I think is in high school) struggles to have enough clothes. The family told him that it was a God thing that I brought the clothes because she was in desperate need of them and she was especially in need of the boots! As I sat through the rest of the service tears began to fill my eyes. The Lord allowed me to be apart of him blessing someone. I was SO excited!
This year is going to be full of blessings. Last night showed me that even though God will bless me individually, he's also going to use me to be apart of the blessings he's going to pour out onto others. I'm more excited about this than I am about receiving my own blessings!
Now, day 2 into the New Year. I show up at work to help with a camp. I show up to work and after 30 mins of waiting, I find out the camp is cancelled. One of the sweetest ladies I work with who is the Early Childhood Manager, told my manager that I was up and showered for work and that I needed to work. So instead of sending me home, I worked with Lu all day doing little projects and observing another program they have have the museum called Play Gym. It was such a fun and easy day PLUS I got paid time and half for it! Day 2 in and the Lord has given another blessing! Also, my window is now fixed and my wonderful dad has offered to pay for it. Yet, another blessing is poured onto me!
Tomorrow is day 3 and I am SO EXCITED to see what else the Lord has in store, not to mention the other 362 days this year!
By the way, the ministry we went to help with is through pastor Barry Kidwell. He preaches and works with the homeless every week and has a service for them at First Centenary Methodist Church on Sunday nights. They are always needing people to volunteer to provide dinner on Sunday nights. If you or your church family would like to help, please contact me and I'll give you the name and number of the lady who sets the dinners up. Trust me, it was a wonderful experience and the Lord is doing GREAT things with this ministry. Let me know if you'd like to help!
Happy New Year Everyone! And may God pour out his blessings on each and everyone of you!
I have been patiently awaiting this year to arrive. God has promised to make things new this year and pour out his blessings. I have been so ready for this to happen! The amazing thing is yesterday was the first day of the year and God has already begun to do what he has promised!
A few weeks ago, the Lord placed on my heart to do something in the community on Christmas. Everything fell into place to help with a homeless ministry on Christmas day. I had enough people volunteer to help and to provide a nice meal for 80+ people. Then they had a change of plans and the date was changed to January 1st. So yesterday, with help from many friends and family, we were able to go help with the homeless ministry and provide a lasagna meal for the homeless.
Now I want to rewind to Christmas Eve night. I had just gotten home from spending Christmas with my Dad. I was getting my room organized and the Lord convicted me on the amount of clothes I had in my closet. I noticed that I hand almost 6 coats and MANY shirts that I don't even wear. I knew I would probably get more for Christmas so I decided to clean out my closet of all the clothes I have not worn this winter season. I filled up an x-large Christmas bag with all the clothes and coats that I decided to get rid of. After Christmas, I had enough money to buy a pair of brown boots I had been eyeing for a couple of months now. So I bought some new boots and decided to throw my other boots into my give away pile.
Now lets return to yesterday evening. As I was preparing to go provide dinner, I felt I needed to take my bag of clothes that I was going to give away. I have worked with the homeless before and it's population is usually of men and older women. I remember thinking "there probably won't be anyone who could fit into these clothes", but I felt that I needed to bring the bag with me anyways. I get to the church and enjoyed every minute of talking and serving this wonderful group of people. Near the end a man I go to church with came to me and told me that their was a family who have NO food for the week and asked if we had left over lasagna to give to them so they will have food during the week. We had one HUGE pan and another large pan of lasagna left over plus a bag of rolls, a few cupcakes, and salad that we could give to the family. The family was hispanic and had a translator to help them out. The translator came into the kitchen and thanked us for the extra food. After we fixed at least 16 togo boxes for the other members their (so cool how God provides the right amount of food), we walked out into the hallway where the hispanic family was. They thanked us for our help and then I joined the service that was taking place. I went into the room and sat down and realized that there was a girl who looked like she was in high school and was about my size. Then it hit me that she was who the clothes were for! I jumped up out of my seat and went looking for the family. I couldn't find them, so I went to find one of the guys I go to church with to see if he knew where they were. He told me they were still in the church so I told him about the large bag of clothes I had and was wanting to see if the girl in this family needed them. He took the bag of clothes and went out to find them. I stayed and enjoyed the service. In the middle of the service, the guy I gave the clothes to walk back in. He sat behind me and told me that in that family there were two girls. The older one is usually the one who gets a lot of clothes donated to her and the younger one (the one who I think is in high school) struggles to have enough clothes. The family told him that it was a God thing that I brought the clothes because she was in desperate need of them and she was especially in need of the boots! As I sat through the rest of the service tears began to fill my eyes. The Lord allowed me to be apart of him blessing someone. I was SO excited!
This year is going to be full of blessings. Last night showed me that even though God will bless me individually, he's also going to use me to be apart of the blessings he's going to pour out onto others. I'm more excited about this than I am about receiving my own blessings!
Now, day 2 into the New Year. I show up at work to help with a camp. I show up to work and after 30 mins of waiting, I find out the camp is cancelled. One of the sweetest ladies I work with who is the Early Childhood Manager, told my manager that I was up and showered for work and that I needed to work. So instead of sending me home, I worked with Lu all day doing little projects and observing another program they have have the museum called Play Gym. It was such a fun and easy day PLUS I got paid time and half for it! Day 2 in and the Lord has given another blessing! Also, my window is now fixed and my wonderful dad has offered to pay for it. Yet, another blessing is poured onto me!
Tomorrow is day 3 and I am SO EXCITED to see what else the Lord has in store, not to mention the other 362 days this year!
By the way, the ministry we went to help with is through pastor Barry Kidwell. He preaches and works with the homeless every week and has a service for them at First Centenary Methodist Church on Sunday nights. They are always needing people to volunteer to provide dinner on Sunday nights. If you or your church family would like to help, please contact me and I'll give you the name and number of the lady who sets the dinners up. Trust me, it was a wonderful experience and the Lord is doing GREAT things with this ministry. Let me know if you'd like to help!
Happy New Year Everyone! And may God pour out his blessings on each and everyone of you!
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