"It's getting better with the seasons."

Fall has finally made it's way in. It is beautiful outside and the temperature feels amazing. But along with the fall comes something in the air that creates a rebellion in my body that prevents me from breathing through my nose for about 3 days and causes my head to weigh about 10 lbs. But once my body decides to accept the fact that is is fall, it will go back to normal and I will be able to enjoy the weather more.

Last night, I picked up my two cousins from church. On the way to their home, Thomas (who is 4) decided that the we needed to ride with the windows down. I agreed so I roll the windows down and we enjoy the lovely weather on the ride to their home. On the way Thomas noticed something out the window. I hear "OH MY GOODNESS!" I asked him what was wrong. He continues by telling me, "Someone has their tismas(aka Christmas) lights up!". He then continues with, "don't they know it's not timas time yet?!". He then begins to yell out the window, "People! It's not tismas time yet, it's halloween! Don't have your tismas lights out yet!" I throughly enjoyed this moment, it was the best moment of my week! After he was finished informing everyone that it's not Christmas time, I thanked him for being kind enough to remind everyone that it was time for Halloween, not Christmas.


I have a MAJOR praise! I received a call this afternoon that I have been hired at the Creative Discovery Museum. I am SO EXCITED. The Lord literally threw this one in my lap. I wasn't even looking that hard for a job and he gave this one to me with little effort on my half. God loves doing these things, He loves giving us the best when we least expect it. It doesn't happen all the time, thats why it's so exciting when it does! I'm coming to learn that times of waiting are well worth the wait. When we put our boxing gloves away and accept the fact that God wants us to wait, the blessings he has to pour out is incredible! The best part is, the only thing we had to do was wait, he takes care of the rest. If you're in a time of waiting, ask God to help you accept that that's where he wants you. Trust that he will give you the answer you are looking for in time. Because the truth is, just like the seasons, what's going to happen is going to happen. We can't walk around in shorts and a t-shirt in winter because we're ready for summer. It doesn't matter what you do, winter will stay as long as winter wants to stay. By wearing your flip flop's and swim trunks isn't going to rush the winter to move into spring. I feel like that how I handle waiting periods. I try to do something to change the situation I am in, to make it go by faster. But I've learned it doesn't matter what I do, a season's a season and I just need to find a good winter coat to help me until it's summer time. FInding content in EVERY situation is the solution for many of our problems.


"I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Philipians 4:12-13

To You our hearts are open, Nothing here is hidden

I've never been a 'natural' runner. I started running in high school to lose weight and to get in shape. When I started out running it was a challenge just to run a half a mile without feeling like I was going to die. The first time I ran a mile non-stop, it took me about 13 minutes, but I was SO PROUD of myself. It was a huge accomplishment. I kept in the habit on and off through out college getting a little better. At one point I was running about 3 miles every other day, at about 12:00min per mile. But I'm a busy body and my social calendar became filled with events to the point that running was put on the back burner. I would run maybe once every other week. After I graduated college with my undergraduate degree, running was rarely happening. Then once I started my job at Youth Villages, the thought of running only made me laugh inside because I had ZERO energy to do it. After I quit YV, I decided to reintroduce myself to the treadmill in our home, the same one I use to run on in high school. For those who have ever started running then quit, then tried starting back, you know that you have to start back to square one. So lucky for me, I was back to barely running a mile without feeling like was I dying.


I'm telling you my running history as an introduction to my running experience I had tonight. I've been doing fairly well lately and had run 1.5 mile last night without stopping. I had planned to do the same tonight. But tonight was different from the past nights I've been running. Tonight, I walked into the room with a heavy weight on my shoulders. Loneliness, disappointment, and discouragement had crept it's way in on me. As I stepped onto the treadmill, my heart felt heavy. I plugged my ipod into my head phones and cranked up "All My Fountains" by Chris Tomlin. I started the treadmill and as my legs begin to run at the set pace, so does my mind. As praise and encouragement flow into my ears, my mind is throwing everything that is weighing me down. "This dry and desert land I tell myself, 'Keep walking on' Hear something up ahead, Water falling like a song. An everlasting stream, Your river carries me home."


All the thoughts of disappointment, confusion, and loneliness are pounding in my head, but I keep running. I promised myself at the beginning of this day that I am going to PRAISE my God, despite what I feel, despite what I see, and despite what my circumstance may look like. I decide at this point that I'm going to listen to the whole Passion Album instead of my set running list, I need Jesus to help me right now. More songs pour into my ears while every thought possible is trying to over take the truth that is pouring into me, I turn up the volume on my ipod. I've almost reached a mile at this point, I begin to pray, "Lord, let me sweat all these discouraging thoughts out of me." I keep running.


At this point, I begin to tell all the negative thoughts in my head the promises the Lord has given to me. He has PROMISED that he will send someone into my life that will work along side me in the journey he has laid out before me. He has PROMISED me that he will show me the ministry he has set out for me, he will tell me how it's to be run and what steps I need to take. He has PROMISED that he will never leave me, he will never forsake me, and the work he has laid out for me will not be done in vain. He PROMISED that he will use me to help uplift troubled souls. I've reached 1.5 miles at this point, but I'm not stopping, I keep running. 


The Lords plan is bigger than mine and his love for me and his children is far beyond my comprehension. I have to trust him. He has always, ALWAYS shown to be faithful. I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11-14 that says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” Right before this verse, in verse 10 it says, "You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again."


He said it would be 70 years before his promise will be fulfilled, BUT he said IT WILL BE FULFILLED. HE WILL COME!!!


Sweat is pouring down my face now. I can feel it all down my back and my arms. The weight doesn't feel as heavy anymore. As I reach the 2 mile mark, I'm reminded that the Lord will fulfill his promise, it just might not be in the timing I want. I pray that it won't be 70 years like in Jeremiah, but even if it is, I will praise him, because no matter how long the timeline might be he will be at the finish line with the ultimate prize. We might have sweat pouring down our faces but we will finish and his promise will be there with Him saying, "Well done my child, you pushed through the trials, and trusted that I would be faithful. Here is what I have promised. By the way, it's even better than I had originally stated and I decided to add a few other blessings on top of it."


At 2 miles, I slow the treadmill down and hear the words of David Crowder say, "When all seems lost. When we're thrown and we're tossed, We'll remember the cost. We're resting in the Shadow of the cross."


I know that won't be my last run, I'll keep running until I reach that over flowing fountain. I'm going to keep running the race no matter the struggles that may come with it because I know that in the end the weight will be gone and I will struggle no more.

I'm waiting for the real pearls.

I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I have the ability to break any car that I have. Since high school I have had 5 cars, all of which have had something random break on it. Thankfully the majority of the issues are usually minor. But, the trigger to any of my car issues is when my parents go out of town. No joke. Almost every time they leave for a certain period of time, something always happens to my car. This weekend they went to pigeon forge for the weekend, when I went into my car to meet a friend for lunch the check engine light came on. I wasn't about to take my chances with my history of car issues when they're not in town. So I'll be driving my mom's car, just to be safe.

This weekend has been pleasantly nice. Last night and tonight I have spent my time home alone. I've watched many movies and have taken on some much needed rest. 

Last Sunday at church the pastor spoke on faith. He gave an illustration that has been in my mind all week. He told a story about a little girl and her father. The father had given the girl a pearl necklace. The girl loved the pearls and cherished them very much. One night, the father comes into the young girls room to put her into bed for the night. When the father walked in, he asked the young girl to give him her pearl necklace. The young girl was very troubled by this and refused to return the necklace to her father. The father did not argue and said the prayers for the night and put the girl to bed. For the next couple of nights, the father continued to ask for the pearl necklace and the girl continued to refuse. Each time the girl refused the father would proceed with their nightly ritual and put the girl to bed. Finally, the father walked into the girls room as usual and found his young daughter with tears in her eyes and the pearl necklace in her hand and handed the pearls over to her father without him asking. The father takes the pearls from the young girl and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black bag. He hands the bag to the girl and she reaches in to find a REAL pearl necklace.

When he told this story, I couldn't help but see myself as that little girl trying to keep the first pearl necklace. 

When it comes to relationships I've always been very picky. I've always been cautious of who I date and I've only dated those who I cared deeply about and saw a future with. Much like the little girl and her first pearl necklace, I loved very deeply the few relationships God gave to me. I wanted to keep them and never give them back. But like the father in the story, God came to me and very patiently and lovingly asked that I give them back. I am very much like the little girl, I was stubborn and I didn't want to give up what he had given me. I loved what he had given me, why would he ask me to give them back? But my story is a little different from the little girl, I came to God with tears in my eyes and gave him back the pearls he had given to me except I returned a broken necklace. See God knew it would break, he knew that I needed to give him the weak set of pearls. He held me when I cried because I had not listen to him and I had broken what he had given me. He wiped the tears from my eyes, he told me how much he loved me, and how he wants to give me so much more. He never yelled at me. He just held his arms open and loved me. I don't deserve a real set of pearls, I mean, why would he give me the real thing when I could barely handle the one's on loan. But God is merciful, He's loving, and despite my stubbornness, he still  wants to give me the real pearls he has picked out for me.

It's hard to be at a place in life when everyone around has found someone they can spend time with and enjoy their company. People tend to either over look the one's who are alone or anxiously try to find someone for the lonely so they don't have to be alone anymore. Loneliness is seen as the ultimate torturous situation in our society. But really, it's just like anything else that is difficult in life, the longer your in it the more you grow in learning how to handle it. Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy, but isn't that the same for relationships? There not always peachy and easy to handle. 

I'm on this topic because I'm running into a lot of situations where people are struggling with loneliness. I see multiple people trying to find a relationship just so they don't have to be alone and don't have to have someone feeling sorry for them because they haven't found a significant other. I tried running from it, I tried holding on to relationships just so I wouldn't have to be alone. The result? I think the previous illustration of the broken pearls can answer that question. If you're reading this and you are alone, I can't sit here and say that God will send a significant other your way soon because I honestly do not know if that's what he has in store for you. But I can promise that he has something MAGNIFICENT in store for you. If he hasn't given it to you yet, it might be because your still holding on to the first set of pearls he has given you. If your wise, you'll go ahead and hand them over to him so that he can give you a better set of pearls. If you don't, the first set of pearls will break, causing a bigger mess. Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I had just given him the first set of pearls back when he asked me to. The truth is, I can't hold onto the "if's". God is faithful. He has promised me and you real pearls. Each of our real pearls might resemble something different but I believe God has the BEST in mind for all of us, no matter what it is.

So keep holding onto the promises he has given us. Keep patiently waiting for he is faithful to follow through with the words he has given us. And despite the difficulties that come with the waiting the Lord is using those difficulties to build us and make us strong. I'm leaving you with this quote a friend gave me. Enjoy :-)

"Your focus will determine what you believe. 'When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do, but on what God said He would do.' God is not slow in keeping His promises, but the enemy will try to attack you in the interim as you wait. Don't get focused on the negative. Don't let fear overwhelm you. Even Jesus was tested by satan with the question, "If...", but Jesus did not focus on Himself, He focused on what God said about Himself. Like Jesus, we have a defense to guard our hearts and our minds and stand firm in faith – the true Word of God's promises."

Wondergirl Won't Save Your Life

I really don't like saying, "the Lord is good". The reason is because I do not think the word 'good' is sufficient enough to describe how God really is. I prefer to use words such as magnificent, extravagant, or awesome. I mean think about how you use the word 'good' in an everyday context? When we like something or we're not displeased, we say it's good. So, I'm not saying the word 'good' is a bad word or a negative word, it's just not sufficient enough for me to use when describing my God. Because the reality that I'm coming to realize is that when God does something in my life my heart beat increases, I feel as if I've just earned a million dollars just by cleaning a floor. Usually when God does something in my life I want to go shout it and dance on a rooftop because of the joy I experience. Therefore, considering my definition of the word 'good' is to describe something likable or pleasing, I want to use stronger words that can better describe the multitude of joy I experience when He intervenes in my life.

Speaking of God intervening in my life, He's been doing a lot of that lately. He's been popping up in the most unexpected places and bringing on new opportunities. Through these interventions and opportunities He's been teaching me much about myself. For example, He's taught me that I have a servants heart. I really enjoy helping people in any possible way I can. Because of this gift and passion the Lord has placed many opportunities where I get to serve other people and I've been throughly enjoying it. But, I'm learning that I enjoy helping and serving other's so much that I tend to try and go above and beyond all too often. God has been reminding me that He want's to use me to serve others and to help them but I need to only do as he tells me to do. I tend to be in a situation where I'm helping someone and will suggest helping them in another way that he has not instructed me to offer the help. I do this because I want to do everything I possibly can to help someone, especially if they are in a rough situation. I know God know's my heart and intentions are true in the matters but He's teaching me that I can't help EVERYONE. As much as every inch of me wants to be available to help everyone in there time of need, he did not create me to serve every person on this planet. I was created to serve Him and to serve Him in a way that brings him glory, honor, and praise. But I'll find myself in a situation where I'm helping in a way that is hurting them. I'll allow this person to become dependent on me and this is not want God has created us for. He created us to be dependent on him. Looking back, I realized that this is what caused me to become so burned out in my job. I wanted to say yes to everyone when they asked for my help. I just care so much about people that when they ask me for something I wanted to do it to show them that I really do love and care about them and that I hear their needs. Plus, I knew I would complete the task.This isn't reflecting God's love and it's not really loving people, especially if what you are doing is crippling them into believing they are not capable of completing the task. Our prayers are not always yes from God, because He loves us enough to see the bigger picture and whether he would be crippling us by saying yes. 

I want more of this love, the love that knows when to say yes and when to say no. My prayers is that He will help me in discerning whether I need to complete a certain task for someone, show them how to complete the task themselves, or to basically say no. I know that by discerning in this way, God is going to be able to use me in a bigger way and more beneficial way.

‎"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.I have called you by name; you are mine.When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.When you walk through the fire of oppression,you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you......because you are precious to me.You are honored, and I love you." Isaiah 43:1-2, 4

Rational Vs. Irrational

Labor day weekend = a success!

I had fun camping with the family. My parents camper is pretty snazzy (definition- to describe something extremely awesome!) It took us 5 hours to get home this afternoon. About 2 and a half hours of that was leaving Pigeon Forge, it was a little ridiculous. 

Not only was today Labor day but it was also my sister and brother in law's 2 year anniversary. Happy 2 years! May many MANY more years continue to come for you two :-)

God loves to get my attention when I least expect it. After returning home today, I decided to indulge the remainder of my evening in one of my newly favorite shows, Criminal Minds. As I was sitting and loving every minute of this show, God placed a revelation on my heart. I began to think about rational vs. irrational. I became more aware of how people (myself included) tend to rationalize things ALL THE TIME. Especially when we feel God has placed something on our hearts, whether it's to confront a friend, call a long lost friend, or it could be as random as talking to the stranger next to you in a nail salon. I don't know what the random event that might magically pop into your mind or a close friend has suggested, we tend to rationalize why we should NOT do the random task that has been placed before us. We think things such as " Well, my friend will not understand why I'm confronting them. They'll think I've lost my mind." Or "That long last friend does NOT remember me. They probably don't even have my number so they won't answer a number they don't know." I could go on and on about the list of rationalizing things.

As I sat watching criminal minds and thinking about rationalization I began to realize how much Satan LOVES rationalization. It's probably one of his most favorite tactics to use against us because it's so easy and it WORKS the majority of the time. Our rationalization becomes "a truth" to us, therefore we cannot complete our original task because that is not 'real' it's not 'rational'.

But if we really knew God, we would know that he does not work rationally. If he did would Luke 1:37 exist? How about Luke 18:27? God likes making the the irrational become rational, because when the impossible become possible, people's reactions are WAY more entertaining. Isaiah 52:15 says, "And he will startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not been told; they will understand what they had not heard about." I mean, to make a King speechless is waay more awesome than having a group of people say, "Oh, this was completely rational. I understand why this took place." 

When reading Isaiah 53, I became so over taken and awestruck at how much God loves us. He loves us so much, that he allowed his PERFECT son to be punished and beaten for us. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but this is not rational to the thought process that we know as rational. But it WAS rational for God (Isaiah 55:8-9), because it means he gets to have US. WE are HIS due to this completely irrational behavior. 

"He was oppressed and treated harshly,

      yet he never said a word.
   He was led like a lamb to the slaughter.
      And as a sheep is silent before the shearers,
      he did not open his mouth.
 ⁸ Unjustly condemned,
      he was led away.
   No one cared that he died without descendants,
      that his life was cut short in midstream.
   But he was struck down
      for the rebellion of my people.
 ⁹ He had done no wrong
      and had never deceived anyone.
   But he was buried like a criminal;
      he was put in a rich man’s grave.
 ¹⁰ But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him
      and cause him grief.
   Yet when his life is made an offering for sin,
      he will have many descendants.
   He will enjoy a long life,
      and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands.
 ¹¹ When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish,
      he will be satisfied.
   And because of his experience,
      my righteous servant will make it possible
   for many to be counted righteous,
      for he will bear all their sins.
 ¹² I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier,
      because he exposed himself to death.
   He was counted among the rebels.
      He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels." Isaiah 53: 7-12


If you're reading this blog now, I believe you are reading it for a reason. Maybe you have never read it before and randomly came across it on a news feed. Or you might just be a wonderful friend who randomly likes to see what I have to say. Either way, these words are not mine, they are God's. In my flesh I'm not bold, I'm insecure, I'm incapable of any form of wisdom. But with GOD, he makes all these things possible. I'm a firm believer in Deuteronomy 29:29 "The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions." Don't ignore what God is pounding on your heart to do. I PROMISE it will be an experience of a lifetime and one you will never regret.