I've never been a 'natural' runner. I started running in high school to lose weight and to get in shape. When I started out running it was a challenge just to run a half a mile without feeling like I was going to die. The first time I ran a mile non-stop, it took me about 13 minutes, but I was SO PROUD of myself. It was a huge accomplishment. I kept in the habit on and off through out college getting a little better. At one point I was running about 3 miles every other day, at about 12:00min per mile. But I'm a busy body and my social calendar became filled with events to the point that running was put on the back burner. I would run maybe once every other week. After I graduated college with my undergraduate degree, running was rarely happening. Then once I started my job at Youth Villages, the thought of running only made me laugh inside because I had ZERO energy to do it. After I quit YV, I decided to reintroduce myself to the treadmill in our home, the same one I use to run on in high school. For those who have ever started running then quit, then tried starting back, you know that you have to start back to square one. So lucky for me, I was back to barely running a mile without feeling like was I dying.
I'm telling you my running history as an introduction to my running experience I had tonight. I've been doing fairly well lately and had run 1.5 mile last night without stopping. I had planned to do the same tonight. But tonight was different from the past nights I've been running. Tonight, I walked into the room with a heavy weight on my shoulders. Loneliness, disappointment, and discouragement had crept it's way in on me. As I stepped onto the treadmill, my heart felt heavy. I plugged my ipod into my head phones and cranked up "All My Fountains" by Chris Tomlin. I started the treadmill and as my legs begin to run at the set pace, so does my mind. As praise and encouragement flow into my ears, my mind is throwing everything that is weighing me down. "This dry and desert land I tell myself, 'Keep walking on' Hear something up ahead, Water falling like a song. An everlasting stream, Your river carries me home."
All the thoughts of disappointment, confusion, and loneliness are pounding in my head, but I keep running. I promised myself at the beginning of this day that I am going to PRAISE my God, despite what I feel, despite what I see, and despite what my circumstance may look like. I decide at this point that I'm going to listen to the whole Passion Album instead of my set running list, I need Jesus to help me right now. More songs pour into my ears while every thought possible is trying to over take the truth that is pouring into me, I turn up the volume on my ipod. I've almost reached a mile at this point, I begin to pray, "Lord, let me sweat all these discouraging thoughts out of me." I keep running.
At this point, I begin to tell all the negative thoughts in my head the promises the Lord has given to me. He has PROMISED that he will send someone into my life that will work along side me in the journey he has laid out before me. He has PROMISED me that he will show me the ministry he has set out for me, he will tell me how it's to be run and what steps I need to take. He has PROMISED that he will never leave me, he will never forsake me, and the work he has laid out for me will not be done in vain. He PROMISED that he will use me to help uplift troubled souls. I've reached 1.5 miles at this point, but I'm not stopping, I keep running.
The Lords plan is bigger than mine and his love for me and his children is far beyond my comprehension. I have to trust him. He has always, ALWAYS shown to be faithful. I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11-14 that says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” Right before this verse, in verse 10 it says, "You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again."
He said it would be 70 years before his promise will be fulfilled, BUT he said IT WILL BE FULFILLED. HE WILL COME!!!
Sweat is pouring down my face now. I can feel it all down my back and my arms. The weight doesn't feel as heavy anymore. As I reach the 2 mile mark, I'm reminded that the Lord will fulfill his promise, it just might not be in the timing I want. I pray that it won't be 70 years like in Jeremiah, but even if it is, I will praise him, because no matter how long the timeline might be he will be at the finish line with the ultimate prize. We might have sweat pouring down our faces but we will finish and his promise will be there with Him saying, "Well done my child, you pushed through the trials, and trusted that I would be faithful. Here is what I have promised. By the way, it's even better than I had originally stated and I decided to add a few other blessings on top of it."
At 2 miles, I slow the treadmill down and hear the words of David Crowder say, "When all seems lost. When we're thrown and we're tossed, We'll remember the cost. We're resting in the Shadow of the cross."
I know that won't be my last run, I'll keep running until I reach that over flowing fountain. I'm going to keep running the race no matter the struggles that may come with it because I know that in the end the weight will be gone and I will struggle no more.
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