El Roi

It's been a while since I've been able to write. The past few weeks have been pure chaos. I can't believe we're already over half way through March. I literally feel like I have blinked this month away. The funny thing is I remember looking at the calendar and seeing that this month had 31 day in it and thinking "Man, this is going to be a long month." Boy have I been proven wrong!

I want to give a little testimony from my previous blog, Can We Please Talk About This. I talked about how the Lord directed me to keep silent about an issue I was sensing. Despite how much I wanted to do the exact opposite of what he told me to do, I was obedient and didn't confront anything. Well I'm glad I did, because the person ended up coming and talking to me. It was really cool because I'm almost positive she didn't read that blog and the Lord told me to just pray for her instead of confronting. Turns out she was in need of those prayers I was lifting up for her. It's just so awesome when he shows you why he asked you to do something. I was so encouraged when she finally talked to me. It made my heart so happy! I'm so grateful for how God has provided such wonderful people in my life. I'm also very grateful that he allows them to stay in my life.

These past few weeks have flown by so quickly because they have come with many struggles. The Lord has held me through each passing struggle and I'm happy to say that I've made it out stronger! Now the Lord is allowing me to see more and more of myself. He's helping me see some mind sets that need to be changed and some actions that need to change. Most importantly, He's wanting me to really really really know Him. More specifically, he wants me to know him by his names. Yes, plural, nameS. I recently have read two separate books and each have mentioned the names of God. When I read about it in the second book, I was like, "Ok, I'm getting the hint that I need to know you by all your names." I've come to find that in my walk with Christ, I get caught up in only parts of him and neglect other parts. In one of the books I read it said, "God's names are a promise of who He is. We learn to trust Him as we come to know Him in the way He is described in the Bible, based on His character." Recently I came to realize that a person who has been in my life for many years not only didn't know some characteristics of me, but wasn't accepting of them either. I wasn't hurt by the fact that they weren't accepted as much as I was hurt by the fact that they didn't know these things. These were things that everyone else in my life figured out within a few months of knowing me, but after years of knowing me, this person made it very clear that they did not know about this characteristic of me. It really hurt. After going through this experience, I realized how important it is for me to know the characteristics of the God I serve. It's ok to know an acquaintance by whats on the surface level, but what makes a friendship or a relationship with someone is knowing more than what's on the surface. God revealed to me that I was only looking to parts of who he is and neglecting other characteristics that I NEED to know. Many of the insecurities I've been feeling are due to emptiness I have inside. God is showing me that I've been searching in all the wrong places and all the wrong ways to fill these empty holes, when all along, he's been here having the solution for these holes yet I haven't been diligent enough to discover more of him. Therefore, I've been living with empty holes that can only be filled by him and his character. 

I'm going to spend each week learning and know these characteristics of God. The first name that struck me and hit him with me is the name El Roi, meaning The God Who See's Me. Ironically enough (or not) I friend of mine posted a status today about this name that said, "{El-Roeh} God, the One who sees~ This name of God reveals God's beneficent omnipresence; a God who sees the needs of His people and cares enough to respond with help and deliverance. 

(see Genesis 16:8, 13). ~ NIV Archeological Study Bible// it's amazing that the creator of the universe sees me & sees you... He sees us & loves us, despite of us. Thank You, Lord for seeing me... Help me to see You more..To be more aware of You- Your direction, leading, peace, joy, & work."

It's so refreshing to know that he see's me! I can't tell you how much this means to me. It feels so good to know that he SEE'S me! ME! And he see's you too. I'm going to end on that note, because I just love dwelling in this truth, I hope you do too :-)

(P.S. I'll continue to write and share about the names of God as I study more and learn more about each one.)