As a counselor, I always have teenagers coming into my office complaining about teachers, parents, etc. they discuss their frustrations then they try to convince you to do something to change the persons behavior or they tell you the plan they have developed to try and change their situation. Every time this comes up I always try to help the student focus on what they can control. I find a lot of success in this technique because it helps people who have control issues to take their need of control and channel it on something more tangible. I also use this technique in my life because I know I have control issues. I have this constant need to feel as if I'm in control of something because I do not like the spinning feeling of being out of control.
I'm also a big believer in being a hard worker. I do not believe it's healthy to have things just handed to you. You lose the value and worth of things when they are just passed over to you without some effort and work put into it. I know this belief is carried out into my day to day life because many people have pointed out to me how I am a hard worker and have an excellent work ethic. It's something I pride myself in because good work ethic, well work ethic in generally really, is a hard trait to find nowadays.
I mention my need to control and my work ethic because lately they have been working against me rather than for me. I work so hard to try and keep a grip of control on circumstances in my life. I try so hard to work and do the right thing. To mend relationship that need mending, to show my worth and competence in my job, to be able to sustain myself as a single woman, etc. But in the midst of my hard work and control I find myself in a place of exhaustion. I'm tired and as I look upon the work I am doing, I tend to see a bigger mess at times. What do I do at this point? Well I keep going. Why? Because I'm responsible for everything, I'm responsible for the choices I make, I'm responsible for ensuring my life goes in the right directions....... Right? Isn't that how this is all suppose to work?
As I'm working like a busy bee trying to get everything that needs to be done the Lord speak subtle to me. He drops scripture in my path like Romans 1:16-17 that says, "It’s news I’m most proud to proclaim, this extraordinary Message of God’s powerful plan to rescue everyone who trusts him, starting with Jews and then right on to everyone else! God’s way of putting people right shows up in the acts of faith, confirming what Scripture has said all along: “The person in right standing before God by trusting him really lives.” Or Matthew 19:26, "“No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”
I'm so bad at trying to work my way into making good things happen, when all along God is telling me to chill out and TRUST that he'll do it. In my mind, I envision myself sitting beside Jesus and just resting my head in his lap. He wants me to sit there and rest with him instead of running around trying to fix everything.
As I said before, I do not mind being a hard worker. Hard work doesn't scare me, but sitting and trusting someone else to take care of things for me is terrifying. I find myself being uncomfortable with rest. I find myself begging God to let me go, to let me do the work that needs to be done but he just looks at me, smiles, and with a chuckle says, "No, I got this."
It's funny how I find comfort and discomfort in this statement from him.
Control isn't always a bad thing, neither is hard work. But there comes times in our lives where we have to use those control and hard work urges towards something different, we have to put it towards making ourselves rest and allowing God to be who he is. To love us the way he loves. He doesn't expect me to work for everything I have. Somethings he wants to give to me, why? Because he loves me. He loves me and he knows I love others. Therefore, it is good for me to sit, rest, and watch as my loving Fathers does some of the work for me so that I can learn more of how to love and give to others.
Plus, he's perfect at what he does and he does nothing but good things.
So here's to finding rest and allowing God to be who he is and do what he does.
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