I read something that I posted on Facebook today that I just loved. It was the question whether a woman preferred to be texted or called. The responses? One woman stated she HATED talking on the phone, another woman stated that if you really wanted to talk to her, you would call her. What was the men's response to this? There were no words from their mouths, just the word "dumbfounded" to describe their wordless responses.
This really made my day because it really describes woman so perfectly. I've been thinking about this and what it's like to be a woman ever since I read this and it sent me on a little rant of what it's like to be a woman.
First off, I just want to say that I love being a woman. It truly is hard at times, but I love being who I am. I also love having friendships with women. I have had the privilege to meet and form relationships with many women and I'm here to tell you, there are some beautiful, intricate women in this world whose hearts are full of goodness.
But if you get down and honest, women are sometimes the hardest to get along with and the hardest to understand. I've not only heard men say this but I've heard other women say it as well. I'm almost positive psychology was created not only to understand people in general, but to add some scientific equations in the quest to understand a woman.
Though it would be great to have an equation to understand women (trust me guys, we would use the same tool on each other if there was such a thing) there has yet to be one and there never will be. Want to know why? It's because we are ironically both simple and complex in multiple ways. There are parts in us that are as simple as "yes" or "no" and other parts that are so complex that you would beg for a calculus problem rather than to dive into the complexity of our opinion when it comes to why we would rather you place the silverware down in the dishwasher rather than up. This balance of simple and complex are not a "one size fits all" type thing. What might be more simple in one woman might be more complex in another. We're all so different.
Women are complex but isn't that what's so intriguing about us? Isn't that why, despite all the complications, we still seek to have relationships with women? Whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship. Because not only can a woman be physically beautiful, she can be intellectually intriguing, and have a heart that is bigger and more beautiful than any rare gem you can find on this planet.
So no, we are never going to be simple. We are always going to be complex in one way or another. If you know a women who is 'simple' she's lying to you. I have yet to really get to know a woman who isn't complex once you really get to know her. Yet, there are woman walking around wearing 'simple' mask. They have tried to fit themselves into these boxes because somewhere along the way they got the idea that to live outside of the box is undesirable. It could have been a man who made them believe this or another woman. It doesn't matter who told them, they sadly somehow morphed this lie into truth in their life.
I once had a man tell me he wanted to know who I was. It was a simple question, yet it changed my world to this day. The fact that at 26 years of age, he was the first person (let alone guy) who sincerely wanted to know what was inside of me changed me. It made me aware of how simple I was trying to make myself to be (when I'm not). It made me realize how I had hidden parts of me just so that I would never be a burden to anyone.
I'd sadly somehow come to the conclusion along the way that to be complex would be a BURDEN to someone.
Whether that guy genuinely wanted to know what is inside of me, I'll probably never know, but it did make me want to know what's inside. It made me want to take off my running shoes and finally sit with this big heart inside of me and not run when I didn't truly understand what was there. It lit a flame of hope in me that one would really want to know that and that they wouldn't run and hide when they came to realize that to really answer that question would require years of adventures, life events, and hours upon hours of conversation.
To all the women out there. Don't be afraid of what's inside of you. While avoiding the bad you're going to miss out on all the good things that live beneath the dirt and muck. You'll be surprised to find that you're more beautiful, mud and all, than you ever truly believed. You don't need someone to come into your life to make you believe it, you need to believe it for yourself first.
To all the men out there. Sorry (but not really sorry), we are never going to be simple. We are never going to be fully understood in just a few conversations. But I encourage you not to run the minute you become aware that you're sitting across the table from a woman who scares the shit out of you. Truth is, if she's willing to come back and sit across the table from you again, you probably scare the shit out of her, too. We're human, too. We are just as scared to know your heart as you are to know ours (hell, half of us are scared of our own).
Women's hearts are big and complex but I promise you, whether you are a man or a woman, you won't regret diving head first in.
No comments:
Post a Comment