Life.

Someone posted this today and I thought it was awesome, so I decided to share it as well.


School is back in motion and I'm going full-time. Since I commute from Ringgold to Cleveland, I leave my house about an hour before class, even though it's only a 30 minute drive, just incase I run into traffic. So I arrived about 30 minutes early to class today. I brought a book with me so that I could read while I wait. I was the first person in the class room so I was enjoying the silence as I read and waited. After about 10 minutes a few of my fellow classmates came into class (whom I do not know). I sat and read my book as they chatted a few seats away from me. As I was reading I noticed that I started hearing music. At first I thought someone's phone was going off, but the music continued and it became louder. I then realized that one of my classmates had pulled out her phone and decided to put her phone on Pandora while she waited for class to start. Don't get me wrong, everyone knows how much I love music, but this was just so odd to me. I felt like I was in a movie. You know how movies depict classrooms as this huge party before class starts, I halfway expected someone to come rolling in on their skateboard next. It really kinda annoyed me because this music was loud and to top it off, the girl was talking to the girl next to her and was talking OVER the music. Really? If your going to play music, either bring head phones and enjoy it by yourself or actually listen to it instead of talking over it. This incident really crawled under my skin, plus I lost interest in my book due to the music and loud voice blaring in the room.


There's my rant for the day. I think I'm really going to enjoy the classes I'm taking. Graduate courses are usually very interesting. I'm also taking a Non-Profit class where I have to design my own non-profit organization. Pretty pumped considering this was my side project I had planned to be doing outside of school.


In other news, a few friends of mine, Alyssa and Nicola, are about to move into some triplexes that are at the beginning of my neighborhood this week! I am SO EXCITED to have them as my new neighbors and I'm especially pumped that they are only 1 mile from my house!


That's all I have. God is still awesome and he continues to show me how much he loves me. I'm so grateful for all the challenges he continues to place in my life. Even though some days are harder than others, God continues to give me the strength I need. I can honestly say, that I am slowly falling madly in love with Him (Isaiah 40:31)

I am not a morning person, not even for Jesus.

I was born on January 18th, 1988 around 10am. After the nurses cleaned me up, everyone looked down at me and saw that I had my bottom lip sticking out. You wanna know why? Because I DO NOT LIKE MORNINGS. I am not fully functioning to my fullest until around noon. It has been reported by my parents that I have always been like this and as long as I can remember, I have never liked mornings.

Last night I was having random dreams, I can't recall them but I remember something about my phone ringing and thinking that it was a very important phone call. I woke up and it was 7 AM. I remember the dream and again had a feeling I needed to look at my phone. I picked it up and had 2 missed calls and a voicemail. I did not know the number that had called me. So me being my grouchy self thought, I'll wait to check the voicemail later, it's probably someone who called the wrong number, or a doctors office calling. I then looked at the time and saw that the missed calls were at 5:50 am (ruling out the doctor office excuse). I put my phone down and roll over in attempt to go back to sleep. Instead of falling back to sleep I kept having this intense feeling that I needed to listen to the voicemail. I couldn't shake the feeling so I listened to the voicemail. It was an old client of mine that I had discharged before I left my job. She sounded upset and had asked that I please call her. I deleted the message and put my phone back down being a little annoyed. I laid in bed thinking "God, I know I'm suppose to love people and I know I'm suppose to be there for them, but do you mind lowering the amount of people you are sending my way." I then continued to tell him that I will go back to sleep and call her back after I wake up. I roll over in attempt to fall asleep, again. I lay for another couple of minutes knowing I need to call her back. Finally, I pick up the phone and call her. Her daughter had stolen a car and was caught. The girl was brought home by the police and then ran away when her mom attempted to take her to a residential facility. She just needed someone to talk with because she was overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. After listening and helping her, I hung up the phone and laid in bed, awake.

Yesterday in class my professor posted this verse Romans 15:1-2 "Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, 'How can I help?'"

The "not just do what is most convenient for us" really hit me. I really love people and I really love helping them, but I'm really bad about wanting to do it when it's convenient. I joyfully help when I'm prepared for it, when I'm fully rested, or when I'm at my best. But I'm here confessing that there was no joy this morning. It reminded me that I am a broken person and I'm not always going to be able to serve God joyfully when I do it to my convenience. 

I needed reminding that I am ultimately cursed with sin. I am a broken person who has been made whole through the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. And with his rescue comes strength, strength that is not to be hoarded but shared from one broken person to another.

God wasn't surprised at my attitude this morning, but he definitely showed me that when I commit to him I have to make sacrifices and sometimes those sacrifices come in the morning :-)


Have you ever had a moment like this? 

"I wanna love you more than all of the things you wanted, than all of the things you're not."

Love....... love is magnificent. It can make the impossible possible. I would have to say that my biggest pet peeve is when people underestimate or short change themselves on the amount of love they can receive. The awesome thing about love is that there is nothing in this world that we can do to deserve it. It doesn't matter how many hours we work or how hard we try, we don't deserve it's perfection, it's patience, it's divine way of changing someone's emotions, mindset, or  physical well being. My heart breaks when people miss out on big opportunities because they have allowed the enemy to let them believe they are not worthy of it. 

I love analogies because they really help me to understand things better. So therefore, I'm going to use one now. Last week I had the privilege of having lunch with a friend who I have not seen or spent time with in a long time. She was updating me on her life, school, and work. She told me that she currently obtain a position at a hospital working in an area that will help prepare her for what she really wants to do when she's out of school. She told me that she had put in 40+ applications for a CNA position. She started to become discouraged because she knew she qualified for the positions but was not receiving any calls for interviews. Then she applied for a position that wasn't a CNA position, the position was BETTER than a CNA position, received a call for an interview, and was hired. As she told me this story I couldn't help but think how this situation really hits home with how I approach life and approach God in my prayer life. I'm always coming to him in request for things that I know I'm "qualified" for. I come to him with small request because I really don't think I deserve or would receive something more. After listening to my friends story I began to think, maybe God wants me to start praying for bigger things, things that are better and not just the bare minimum. God is love and he wants to give us all the love he has, so why am I so hesitant to open up my arms and willingly accept it? I know the answer to this question, my insecurity is what keeps me hesitant. My insecurity is what makes me look for reassurance from other's before I make a decision, it's what makes me hesitant to act out boldly, it's the one thing keeping me from experiencing the infinite love of God. 

Sadly, I'm doing the one thing I can hardly stand to watch others do.

Two slaps in the face and a stab in the heart

The title to this blog exactly describes how I felt after reading a passage from a book called "When Helping Hurts: How to alleviate poverty without hurting the poor.... and yourself" By: Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert


I'm going to type out the part of the book that really woke me up so you can understand what I'm talking about. One of the opening questions in the chapter was "For what specific sin(s) was Old Testament Israel sent into captivity?" Before you read the excerpt, really try to answer the question for yourself.


You'll first have to read Isaiah 1:10-13, 16b-17 and 58:1-3, 5-10 (it's listed below), then read the following paragraphs from the book. I hope it impacts you as much as it did me.


(On a side note, I recommend reading this book. I've only read the first few chapters, but it's already fantastic)


" 'Listen to the Lord, you leaders of “Sodom.” Listen to the law of our God, people of “Gomorrah.” “What makes you think I want all your sacrifices?”says the Lord. “I am sick of your burnt offerings of rams and the fat of fattened cattle. I get no pleasure from the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. When you come to worship me, who asked you to parade through my courts with all your ceremony? Stop bringing me your meaningless gifts; the incense of your offerings disgusts me! As for your celebrations of the new moon and the Sabbath and your special days for fasting—they are all sinful and false. I want no more of your pious meetings.Get your sins out of my sight.....Give up your evil ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.'(Isaiah 1:10-13, 16b-17)
'Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Shout aloud! Don’t be timid.Tell my people Israel of their sins! Yet they act so pious!They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act like a righteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf, pretending they want to be near me.‘We have fasted before you!’ they say. ‘Why aren’t you impressed? We have been very hard on ourselves and you don’t even notice it! “I will tell you why!” I respond. “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves. Even while you fast you keep oppressing your workers...... You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind.You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes. Is this what you call fasting? Do you really think this will please the Lord? “No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Remove the heavy yoke of oppression. Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors! Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.' (Isaiah 58:1-3, 5-10)


Why was Israel sent into captivity? Many of us have a picture in our minds of the Israelites getting out of bed every morning and running  off to the nearest shrine to worship idols. Indeed, numerous passages in the Old Testament indicates that idolatry was a problem in Israel. But these passages give a broader picture. Here Israel appears to be characterized by personal piety and outward expressions of formal religion: worshipping, offering sacrifices, celebrating religious holidays, fasting, and praying. Translate this into the modern era, and we might say these folks were faithfully going to church each Sunday, attending midweek prayer meeting, going on the annual church retreat, and singing contemporary praise music. But God was disgusted with them, going as far as to call them 'Sodom and Gomorrah'!


Why was God so displeased? Both passages emphasize that God was furious over Israel's failure to care for the poor and the oppressed. He wanted His people to 'loose the chains of injustice,' and not just go to church on Sunday. He wanted His people to 'clothe the naked,' and not just attend midweek prayer meeting. He wanted His people to 'spend themselves on behalf of the hungry,' and not just sing praise music.


Personal piety and formal worship are essential to the Christian life, but they must lead to lives that 'act justly and love mercy' (Mic.6:8)" (p.39-41)


If that didn't get you, maybe this will.....


"Economic historians have found that for most of human history there was little economic growth and relatively low economic inequality. As a result, the year 1820, after thousands of years of human development, the average  income per person in the richest countries were only about 4 times higher than the average income per person in the poorest countries. Then the Industrial Revolution hit, causing unprecedented economic growth in a handful of countries but leaving the rest of the world behind. As a result, while the average American lives on more than ninety dollars per day,  approximately one billion people live on less than one dollar per day and 2.6 billion- 40 percent of the world's population- live on less than two dollars per day. If God's  people in both the Old Testament and New Testaments were concern for the poor during eras of relative economic equality, what are we to conclude about God's desire for the North American church today? 'If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?'"(p.42)




Now can you relate to my blog title?