My mind has been thinking about love lately. I've been thinking about what it's really suppose to look like and how you're suppose to know when you really encounter it.
Not just how to identify romantic love, but other types of love.
I mean, really, how do you know if someone loves you?
In a world where relationships and love are distorted through movies, books, social media, etc. Its hard to know what true love is and whether it really exist or not.
I'm a firm believer that it exist and I truly believe it takes different forms. "True love", per-say, is not just a romantic relationship between two people. It's a friend relationship, its a parent child relationship, its a relationship between you and God. True love has many faces, yet we find ourselves looking for love only in romantic relationships. We believe we only have true love when we have a significant other holding our hand and telling us we look pretty when we cry. We have come to believe that the only satisfying relationship is romantic, that you are not fulfilled until you have found someone to validate you romantically.
This breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I've believed this lie. It hurts me when I find this little lie crawling back into my head. My heart trembles as I watch people I love look for validation in the arms of another person. Intense sadness fills my soul when a little high schooler walks into my office and believes he'll never amount to anything because in his 17 years of life, he's never had a girl agree to be his girlfriend.
Validation. It's something we long for. We look into the eyes of strangers, people we've never met, people who are just as human and broken as we are and we say, "Validate me."
What a weight to put onto someone who is just as fragile as we are. How dare we stare into the face of another and say, "I believe I'm nothing unless you tell me other wise."
What happens when that person leaves, whether by choice or by death. What happens when this person shows their human ways and screws up.
Divorce is not a foreign concept to me. It's been extremely present my whole life. I've seen relationships fall and break faster than a vase falling from a table.
I've seen people jump from relationship to relationship, praying that this one will be right. Praying this person will complete me.
There are many issues that cause relational issues but I have a theory that one of the main core problems is that we ignore the love we already have in our lives. We ignore the love we hold in our hearts that can be used to fill our own bones. We have love from a God who died so that he can pour mounds and mounds of love on top of us. Most us (if not all) have atleast one person in their life, whether it be a parent, sibling, friend, pet, etc.. who pours love, in the only way they know how to, onto us.
Yet, we dare to look these people in the eye and say, "that's not enough for me."
We dare to walk in our day to day lives and tell God through the actions of our longing for something on this earth that his love is not enough.
I've done it. I do it. No judgement here.
The truth is. The cold hard truth is that love, the love we have right now, is all we need. We don't need other people to validate us. We don't need a romantic relationship to tell us we are worthy of love. We hold that key ourselves. It's starts by believing it yourself rather than listening to the words and actions of other people in our lives.
Whether you believe in God or not, I guarantee you that he shows you love in some way Every. Single. Day.
Sometimes I lay back and try to imagine things. I'll have visions and images come into my head. Some of these vision are ridiculously real. I feel the emotions of that moment, I feel the circumstances of my heart.
I've laid back and thought about living life so that I allow God to validate me and to live as if I truly believe it. I envision what this looks like and how this would form the condition of my heart. I then envision a romantic relationship entering into my life. To look into someone's eyes and know that I don't need them to make me feel good about myself. I don't need them to tell me I'm worthy. Then to hear these things anyways from someone who sees you and loves you, well it's only in my imagination, but I believe it's something worth striving for.
No comments:
Post a Comment