Rejection
I am so fearful of this word. For as long as I can remember, I have been terrified of being rejected. I like to be liked, as do many people.
The only problem with liking to be liked is you can lose bits of pieces of yourself in order to be liked. The pieces of ourselves that we are quick to throw out the window is our imperfections. Sadly, we really can't just throw them out. What we end up doing is we cover them up. We hide them in the darkest corners and pray they won't peek through.
No matter what we throw onto them, no matter how far we shove them into the corner, they will come out. Especially if we find ourselves in a real intimate relationship. If we are willing to have a real relationship with someone, we have to be willing to expose those dark corners and trust we will be loved for what the other person see's.
Exposing means risking being rejected. Exposing means someone else could see your imperfection and hate them as much as you do. It's one thing to reject your own imperfections, but it's a whole other ball game if someone else rejects your imperfections. For someone to confirm the horridness of what you see in yourself, the thought of that kind of pain feels almost unbearable.
But what is rejection wasn't the enemy. What if we looked rejection in the face and said, "I'm not scared of you." What if you put a light in our dark corners and accepted the imperfection for exactly as it is.... imperfection.
Like I mentions in my previous blog, I'm obsessed with other peoples blogs right now. I read this particular one that talk about insecurities and rejections. I LOVE LOVE LOVE some of the things the author had to say about them. I'm going to paste parts of the blog that I just loved but if you want to read the whole article, just click here.
"One thing I have found is that if I continue to only allow “perfect-covered-up-me” to be seen by others, then I will continue to believe that perfection is the only thing that is lovable. It’s difficult to truly know that the gross, messy, ugly parts of me are lovable too when I don’t give anyone the opportunity to see them. Since I believe I am only lovable when I look presentable, I allow beauty and love to be truth about me only when I think it is deserved. I have found, however, that the difficult part is allowing love in when you DON’T think you deserve it, when you don’t want anyone to see."
".....one thing I am learning is that in my willingness to be rejected, others (including myself) get an opportunity to feel accepted. "
Seriously, let that sink in. IF WE ONLY SHOW PERFECTION WE BEGIN TO BELIEVE THE LIE THAT IMPERFECTION IS NOT LOVABLE.
So my question is this, what if we accepted our dark places, what if we accepted rejection? What if we accepted who we are and didn't weigh ourselves based on what others thought of us, or what others think of us? How different would our days look? HOW MUCH MORE FREEING WOULD OUR LIVES BE! Lets kick rejection in the face and take away it's power.
For really, if we think about it, rejection only has the power we give it.......
I love how she words this, she says, " there is unimaginable power in simply bringing 'the battle' to the light."
I'm not saying we will all be fixed by accepting imperfections. Many of our imperfections are a constant battle. But what I'm coming to find is that the more we hide from our own imperfections, our own insecurities, they are slowing growing and smothering us. they smother out the good and make us feel worthless. I'm not sure about you, but I hate feeling worthless and powerless.
This blog has really inspired me to look deep into my dark corners, see the ugly, messy, corners, and believe that I too can be loved for this imperfection. Then start loving myself, while still knowing I've got some not so pretty parts in me.
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