Tuesday's are kind of awkward days for me. I have my graduate assistant position in the morning until 10:30 then I have class at 1:10. As you can see I have a little gap inbetween. I usually use this time to catch up on assignments or reading, which is really nice. Then there are days like today when I'm caught up on work and really don't feel like jumping ahead. Therefore, my morning has been spent reading random articles on Yahoo and being on Facebook. I'm not going to complain though. This semester has been as busy as I've expected so a time of rest is greatly appreciated. I just wish that I could have spent this time in my bed.... sleeping. But none the less, I did give my brain a break and am now educated on why soda's are bad for you (it was the only interesting article I found on Yahoo).
Out of all the problems and issues I know I have, the one problem that I know about and tend to feed into is my need to be a busy body. Times of rest are enjoyable, but most of the time I prefer to be doing something. I have a few reasons for this; #1 If I'm given too much rest I become extremely lazy. I lose all motivation for anything and prefer to stay at home watching movies and TV or listen to music. #2 My mind can run 100 miles an hour thinking about everything on the earth and when I'm given too much rest, I will focus on these thoughts and begin to over think them. I then run into a problem of making a big deal out something that's not a big deal. I do consider it a blessing that I have critical thinking skills and problem solving skills but just like any other gift, when they are over used, you tend to venture to the dark side. #3 My busy-bodiness helps me to procrastinate on any problems or issues I know I need to deal with and just don't feel like dealing with just yet.
On a more positive note, I like staying busy because my busyness usually involves me spending time with people or helping people which is my LOVE and my PASSION.
But scripture warns us against busyness. Most of us know the story about Mary and Martha. If not the story is in Luke 10:38-42 (MSG),"As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand." The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."
I'm much like Martha and I find myself getting caught up in the all the task and not just sitting like Mary and taking in the moments the Lord gives me for him to just shower his love onto. This hit me this morning while I was doing my grad assistant job. I sit in a intro to psych class and take notes and as the professor was talking he said, "our relationship with Jesus is a daily interpersonal relationship." Right then, all I heard was "daily relationship". There are days when I'm telling the Lord to hold on to what he has to tell me because I'm too busy or in the back of my mind I'm think "Lord, I just can't deal with anything you have to show me or tell me today. I'm afraid it won't be good and I can't handle anything bad right now." But God reminded me this morning, through this simple statement that my relationship is daily with him, therefore everyday is not going to be filled with God disciplining me. But I'm going to be honest, I feel that way sometimes. I'm bad about looking at God as this disciplinary and constantly wanting to work with me on my issues. But this morning the Lord told me differently. Everyday is not going to be about work. He is ultimately a God of LOVE and MERCY. He knows my weaknesses and he knows my strengths and ultimately he can be the only one to fill my weaknesses, I can't. I want to change how I perceive my relationship with him. Mary was engulfed in what Jesus had to say, so in my mind I know he had to have been saying things that were loving and filling. He was saying the exact things she needed to hear someone say. I think it's time that I sit down, relax, and enjoy the loving things the Lord wants to tell me
No comments:
Post a Comment