I also do two things when I first wake up in the morning. The first thing I ask myself is, "Do I really have to get up?" The answer to this is usually always, YES. Then the next thing I do, is I grab my phone, turn the alarm off (or hit snooze) and usually scroll through Instagram or Facebook. It's like a wake up ritual. Reading things that are not important some how help me get out of bed. Except this morning, this morning I had the best surprise EVER!
You see, I've been obsessed with a blog writer recently name Hannah Brencher. Most of the quote I've been posting lately have been from her. She has an amazing gift of writing and I love her words, she has such a beautiful way of writing things. Well, I've never been one to write someone like an musician or an actor. I've never written them tweeted them etc. But I have been so impacted by Hannah's writing, I felt the need to write her and let her know the impact she's made on my life recently.
Now this girl is really well known, she's even in the process of writing a book. I've read a few blogs where she's responded to certain people's emails but I'm sure she gets hundreds daily.
So I sent this email, kind of hope for a response but I didn't send it with intentions of a response, I just wanted to let her know how grateful I am for her. It's been very liberating to read what she writes about and it makes this current journey I'm on seem less lonely.
So back to my morning ritual. I open Instagram and she has posted a picture of my favorite quote from her (that I mentioned in the email). With my half sleepy mind I thought, "Well how cool, I just wrote her how I loved that quote and here she's posted it." I then scroll down and read, "Dear Emily Walters,....."
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! (This is when I freak out)
"She wrote me back?!?!?! Not only did she write me back but she posted it on Instagram!"
I didn't even comprehend what she wrote the first time I read it, I was WAY too excited. I leaped out of bed at this moment and jumped into the shower. "I need to wake up more," I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, she really wrote me back! She heard me..... SHE HEARD ME!"
I get out of the shower and read the post again. My heart is pounding out of my chest, creating it's own symphony to try and communicate what's going on inside of me.
What she said, Oh Lord, I knew God had whispered those sweet words to her to share with me. I just couldn't believe she heard me and found my words worthy enough to respond back.
I recently had to burn some bridges in my life. I'm not one to burn bridges with people, it's something I prefer not to do. And this bridge, oh this bridge was so beautiful. You couldn't ask for a better bridge. It loved me, it supported me, the bridge itself was flawless. The only bad thing about the bridge was where it would lead me to. There were times when I thought, I can hang out on the bridge without crossing over. I love this bridge, I enjoy being on it. Well, I always ended up crossing over to the side that was not good for me. It wasn't the bridges fault, it was my own but I sadly had to burn the bridge. I had to watch as it melted away, never to be recovered, never to shine bright again.
Walking away was so hard, especially knowing that it wasn't the bridge that I was really having to rid myself of, it was what the bridge led me to.
She had no idea about this, she has no idea of my recent challenge to take care of myself better, my challenge to stop running from things of the past and to embrace who I am. But she nailed it all with her response.
I'd be lying if I said I only read it twice... no, I've read it atleast 100 times or more. This experience is probably equivalent to if I had walked past Matthew Theissen on the streets and he told me he thought I was pretty and kept walking.
I'll copy the email I wrote and this copy her response.
Seriously, BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
It feels so good to be heard. To TRULY have been heard!
"Hannah,
A friend of mine recently recommended that I start reading your blogs. I recently just discovered a love to blogs and reading your blogs has set this love on FIRE! I am just so amazed at your writing and how you articulate your words in such an artistic and poetic way! I'm very inspired by your writing.
I'm writing you to tell you THANK YOU for your writing. I read your blogs and I'm just amazed at your ability to be vulnerable to the world. You write with a realness and authenticity that makes your entries so relatable.
I've had more than one experience (well if I'm being honest, it's been about every blog entry I've read) where my heart starts pounding and I want to jump up and down with excitement screaming, "MY WORDS! SHE'S SAYING ALL THE WORDS I'VE NEEDED TO SAY!" It has brought me so much joy and so much clarity in this time in my life where I have as much clarity as someone who puts their glasses on in a steaming room.
You see, I'm a 26 year old single woman who is still trying to make it in this world. I've worked my whole life to accomplish my dream of becoming a counselor and now that I have achieved it, the biggest question I've had running through me is "what's next?" Don't get me wrong, I love working as a counselor and I'm one of the very few people in the world who can go to work everyday and love every single minute of it (even when I necessarily don't like it). But after accomplishing this goal, this dream, I've had no clue what the next step is suppose to be, what it's suppose to look like. I've been on a frantic search to find the answer, to KNOW my next step, but it's only messed me up. I was in a deceitful relationship for years that has not help with cleaning up the mess.
Despite where I'm at and despite where I'm going I am SO THANKFUL for your words. You make this road to be less lonely and less confusing. You even make the messiness of it seem joyful and for that, I am BEYOND grateful.
I've gotten to where I'll read something in your blog that makes my heart pound, knowing the truth that underlines it, and I'll save it to my phone. I then go back and read those special quotes over and over again. I want it to sink in. I want to live those truths.
Today, I had an adolescent girl come talk to me. In her struggle to find self-confidence and to love herself, I shared one of your quotes with her. I honestly think it's one of the most profound, gut wrenching things anyone has ever said and I LOVE IT! You said, "Learn to sit with yourself so much that you can stare strangers in the eyes with hellfire confidence and say, “I know exactly what sits at the root of me. And I’m not afraid of it no longer.”
I seriously could dwell in that for days. I've shared a few other quotes with some adolescents who I work with, you have no idea the impact it has had on them.
Your words help me, they help the adolescents that I love to help and I'm sure there are thousands more that you have helped and will continue to help.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Emily Walters"
"Dear Emily Walters, wherever you are and if you are reading-- I got your message. This morning. In the middle of an ungodly mess of an airport security. And I read about how you've made those dream of your come true. And now you are wondering what is next. What's next? What's next? It's a good question but don't use it as an escape route. Don't use it as a way to build more hurdles in the distance when what you have right here is kind-of, sort-of, definitely sacred. Look around. Pay attention. Show up for people. And see if life might just reveal what is next naturally. See if you step into what is next without even noticing it. Maybe it isn't what's next that matters. Maybe it's that you're here. And you've arrived at something you always wanted. And that should be celebrated. Celebrate those little victories, gal. Celebrate the people who brought you right here. Celebrate the way the journey chiseled off parts of you you didn't need any longer. Celebrate all that. You'v done good, girl."
I'm celebrating girl. BELIEVE ME I'M CELEBRATING!!
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